The Therapist

The ironic thing this is a story about a psychology student and her relationships. She hopes to help people with their problems. When you read about how unstable her life is and the impulsive behavior. Would you want her to counsel you?.

Lets call her Madam, she never had much of a childhood. Worked in the family business at a young age, she was forced to look after siblings, which made her hard , resentful and aggressive. Never knew what it was like to just be a little girl.

She grew up hard, dressed provocative as an adult, showing a little too much, sexy she would call it, but it was just shy of being looked at as one of the women of the night.

She wanted to help people, in hopes that she would acquire the knowledge to help herself. Most people in this field that is the one of their main reasons..

She entertained men, and she will brag that there were plenty so she stayed up late at night. It really did not matter if they were married, as she was married herself.

Her husband had left her recently because she was too aggressive. Independent she will call it. " He just could 'not stand my independence" she would state often.

But she really wasn't so independent, she was co-dependent. Here's why, I say this and this definition fits her well.

"Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive." Mental Health of America

Shorty after her break up, less than two weeks, she meets a man, who has emotional issues that are sever, he has manic anxiety, mild schizophrenic (which ran in his family) he is co-dependent, never could maintain a family, wife or women. He was abusive to his wives, only one of his children will speak to him. He has periods of rage and will become violent. He has violent dreams and can't stand to be around people. He has periods of deep depression. He has to be told what to do, as he was not capable of making a decision and sticking with it.

Madam is perfect for him he thought as he knew he needed help. . Madam thought the same he is perfect. She can control him and use him for her sexual needs, many times she referred to him as weak. He sat in the corner one time at her place and waited in line for her other male company to leave saying nothing even when the man insulted him.

She had sex with him immediately as she has used this method often. It was her way of making her self feel wanted, desired but most of all in control., since he was a co-dependent person, he was hooked.

When he started living with her, his blood pressure went up, she kept him in tears, he would shake of the pressure, when he wanted to escape from her, he would use religion as to limit the sexual encounters.

Since she did not believe in the word of God, she would become angry that he wasn't putting out and threaten him with the words that she would replace him. She would claim these techniques was healthy for him and she was healing him. . I say her techniques would eventually kill him and cause him to have an heart attack,

She gave him rules and wrote them down. He always had hard time making decisions and he always needed to be pushed. He had abused the last one women, and since this one acted tough, he could play out his behavior safely and she will take it. That's was his hope.

He also recognized the codependency in her. He had read many books on it. Most of the women that he had mental problems or had just broke up from an emotional relationship

Madam moved him in after only two weeks, of knowing him. That's when I met her. She always was diagnosing others,but she couldn't see the issues she had in her life.

In fact she felt she was quite sane, in fact the only one on the earth. . I was fed up with hearing this woman's issue and it was time to cut it off. She would call to just complain about this man the one she pick up and moved into her life in less then 10 days.. When she was told about herself , she became angry and defensive. So it was an easy break. I knew most arrogant people have a problem seeing their own stuff and the truth about who they are.

He has left her once within the 3 months they have been together. From the history, they will do that back and forth thing. they are truly a pair made for each.

Neither have no clue what a or have a chance of creating a healthy relationship they know not what it looks like. Only in theory only on paper.

This couple will need to get healthy even though she is in the field, they both are in need of a real psychiatrist a healthy one. Made me leery of them after meeting this one..

The moral of this story, when you are looking for a therapist make sure you check out how healthy they are by asking them some questions.

To get more information on co-dependence there is a great article written here at:

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/codependency